so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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