just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
They took my balls.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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