I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Houston, we have a squirter
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
