If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I want to fling myself into the sun
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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