Moan for me like Helen Keller
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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