party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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