yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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