these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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