The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
