We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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