he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
