you would pick up someone in the library
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
