put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
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Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
40s are totally the cure
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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