I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
