I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize