hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
