: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize