I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
