"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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