An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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