Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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