I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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