So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
