Michael Bay diarrhea
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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