Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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