i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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