We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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