i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
