dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
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when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
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They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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