Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
