So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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