You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Couch. On fire.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
