TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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