did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
