just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
