I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
