It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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