My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Screwed.edu
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
