lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
