So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
