look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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