Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
