Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
