You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
