I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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