yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
