My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
