I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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