just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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