we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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