Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
