This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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