My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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