I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
