His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
