20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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