Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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