come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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