she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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